Sis, We Need to Talk… About Your Sex Game and Bedroom Skills

By: Jay Dee, MPH

Why Your Sex Game Matters

Recently, I had a conversation with a friend about the woman he’s currently dating. The chemistry? Undeniable. He enjoys her company, sees potential, and could even picture marrying her one day.

But there’s one problem…

According to him: “her pussy is trash.” And he doesn’t have the heart to tell her.

Ladies, this is a wake-up call: there’s always room to grow in the bedroom.

Ask Questions, Get Answers

Take a moment and ask your partner:

“What can I do more or less of during sex?”

Sex should be a two-way experience: pleasing and being pleased. That means stepping outside your ego and having honest conversations about your sexual life.

Some challenges may require medical attention—but many can be enhanced with:

• Sex toys

• Lube

• Intentional effort

  
  

These aren’t your enemies—they’re allies.

Signs Your Partner May Be Unsatisfied

My friend’s reactions to their lack of satisfaction included:

• Not initiating sex

• Occasionally avoiding sex

• Mentally checking out during intimacy

• Rarely ejaculating, sometimes faking it

  
  

When I asked what it felt like, he swirled his finger in a cup of water and said, “This is what it feels like.”

I said, “Lack of grip?” He nodded instantly.

He also added:

• It feels like he’s having sex with a corpse—there’s no movement, no energy

• She’s not as wet as he prefers

• Her moans and reactions seem performative—he’s barely doing anything, so he doubts their authenticity

  
  

Sex Is a Tango

Sex is a dance. Participation matters. Lying there like a starfish? Not enough. Move your hips, switch positions, engage with your partner.

Practical Tips to Improve Your Sex Game:

1. Strengthen pelvic muscles with Kegels – Squeeze, hold, release. Repeat. Stronger muscles = increased sensation.

2. Stop performing – Sex is about connection. Let your body respond naturally.

3. Communicate openly – Notice signs like avoidance, disconnection, or lack of pleasure. Talk it out over food, check in on your sexual satisfaction, and explore each other’s erogenous zones.

4. Use guides if needed – Tools like the Table For One workbook can help map fantasies and preferences.

Whatever you do, don’t ignore the opportunity to grow, improve, or simply enhance your sexual experience. A little effort goes a long way.

Your sex life deserves intention, not assumption.

Until Next Time,

The Vagina Liberator