Growing up in the projects of Washington Heights in Jacksonville, FL to a single mom, sex education was basic. “Just don’t do it! You’ll wake up with something you can’t get rid of. You have your whole life to do that.” 

The reference to “that” was masturbation and pre-marital sex. Sexuality was such a taboo topic in my household. I remember experiencing sexual feelings as I was approaching puberty, but I thought I was alone.  Surely something was wrong with me because my mom told me, “You have your whole life to do that.” While navigating adolescence, I quickly realized girls are not taught pleasure in the same way as boys. For example, boys have the autonomy to “choke the chicken '' aka masturbate, because “boys will be boys.” On the other hand, girls are not allowed the freedom to explore their own bodies. Early on, it is ingrained in girls’ brain that self-pleasure is a “sin” and “nasty!” The truth? We should be our first sexual partner. We should learn our body before we allow others to discover. Eventually, the little girl grows into an adult woman who is uncomfortable with exploring her body but gives it away freely without understanding pleasure. She then spends long years participating in sexual activity without enjoyment and knowledge of her body and orgasms.