The Third Date Was A Baecation

By: Jay Dee, MPH

Hakuna Matata, With a Little Street Smarts

This is your sign to live! Life is full of unexpected turns, but I’m learning—in real time—to adopt a true Hakuna Matata attitude. I’m leaning into surrender. I’m learning to let go of what I can’t control and follow God’s path, even when I don’t understand His timing.

And while that can be scary (because who knows when God will move?), I’m at peace knowing His plans are greater than mine. So even when life doesn't look how I expected, I still feel joy—and trust that what’s coming will be better than what I planned.

A Quick Escape…And a Bold Choice

Recently, I took a spontaneous trip to the Bahamas. Yes, me. On our third date. Wild, right?

Listen—I know how it sounds, but hear me out. I have a solid sense of people, even if I’ve occasionally chosen to deal with someone’s mess longer than I should have. But in this case, I knew I’d be safe. I’d had offers before to travel domestically with other men I’d dated, and I always declined because something didn’t sit right. This time, it did.

That said, let me be very clear:I do not recommend traveling with anyone unless you have the means to take care of yourself.That means money to get home, money to eat, and money for your own room if needed. Don’t let internet culture convince you that being “flewed out” is a flex if you’re not safe. Going on vacation with someone you barely know can be cute—or it can be dangerous. Don’t let a trip cost you your peace, your power, or your life.

Here Are 3 Must-Do Safety Tips Before You Go Anywhere:

1. Leave a Trail

Tell someone you trust everything—who you’re going with, their full name, a clear photo, their address, the make and model of their car, the license plate. Share your location in real time. Be detailed. Be thorough. It could save your life.

2. Have an Exit Strategy

Don’t leave your house without access to funds. If things go south, you need to be able to get home, get your own room, and feed yourself until the next flight out. Independence is safety.

3. Use Your Close Friends Wisely

Leverage the “Close Friends” feature on Instagram, but make sure the people on that list are actually your close friends or family. Check in regularly: where you’re staying, what excursions you’re doing, when you're in transit. If one friend misses your message, another can catch it. This isn’t the time to keep your boo a mystery—your safety is not a secret. Now if this is a group trip, keep the details about your boo and your boo only. Unless the collective is making you feel unsafe then yes, let it be known who you are with. But in my case, it was all about my boo.

Although I trusted my judgment, I still followed all three of those steps—and I don’t regret it. The trip turned out to be amazing. He was a perfect gentleman, and I had the best time. But even when it feels right, it’s still smart to be prepared.

If it feels good, and your gut and safety checks are clear? Go for it. Welcome to the year of faith, happiness, and spontaneity. Hakuna Matata, baby!

One More Thing: Let’s Talk Sex & Travel

Now, let me say this gently but firmly:If you're vacationing with a romantic interest, only go if you’re okay with the possibility of sex.

Are you obligated to have sex? Absolutely not. But BFFR, if you’re traveling with someone you’re dating (especially early on), sex may come up. If you’re not comfortable with that, you could be putting yourself in an emotionally or physically unsafe situation.

No, you don’t have to put it all on the table before you go but ideally, yes, you should. If that’s not happening, do this for your safety: assume they’re expecting sex, and then ask yourself honestly if you are okay with that. Let that guide your decision.

All in all: Have fun. Live freely. Be spontaneous.But never forget to love and protect yourself first.

Until Next Time,

The Vagina Liberator