Oh You Want To Cum? Well, Orgasm!

By: Jay Dee, MPH

.

What Is an Orgasm, Exactly?

Simply put, an orgasm is the release of sexual tension.

Before sex, your body builds tension through desire and arousal — that deep craving and physical pull toward intimacy.

During sex, your body releases that tension in all kinds of ways:

• Tears or laughter (yes, both are normal!)

• Authentic moaning

• Vaginal spasms — involuntary squeezing

• Uterine contractions

• The sensation of a full bladder

• Feet cramping

• And of course, squirting, the most talked-about (and misunderstood) form of release.

  
  

Women’s orgasms can last anywhere from 15 to 50 seconds, and because the female body can reset quickly, multiple orgasms during one sexual encounter are absolutely possible.

This is often discovered and experienced during solo sex aka masturbation. Nonetheless, multiple orgasms can also occur during partnered sex as well. The signs are just often missed!

Why Some Women Struggle to Orgasm

Many women report never having an orgasm or only experiencing them occasionally. Often, the pressure to “squirt” holds them back. Let’s be clear: all vaginas can cream, but not all vaginas squirt.

Here’s the real tea about squirting:

The fluid comes from the Skene’s glands, located on each side of the urethra. These glands keep the urinary tract lubricated to prevent infections — and as a sexy bonus, they help lubricate the vagina during arousal.

When the glands swell from stimulation or pressure, fluid can be released through the urethra — that’s squirting. Some studies show women who squirt naturally have higher testosterone levels than those who don’t.

But remember: squirting is not the gold standard of orgasm. Every woman’s body releases pleasure differently.

How to Reach Your Orgasm

Here’s how to help your body get there, naturally and joyfully:

1. Engage in foreplay — It increases blood flow, builds tension, and enhances lubrication. Plus, foreplay is King!

2. Relax — Get out of your head and into your bed! Let go of expectations and focus on enjoying the moment.

3. Embrace all types of orgasms — from moaning freely to full-body shivers.

4. Stay hydrated — Water supports blood flow, lubrication, and overall sexual health.

5. Use clitoral toys — Remember, toys are collaborators, not competitors!

Pro tip: If you want to explore squirting, try a suction-style toy on the clitoral tip. The suction builds pressure and encourages fluid release through the urethra.

The Final Word

Sex is more about pleasure than performance. While orgasms are amazing, they aren’t the only goal. As Goody Howard puts it, "fuck and do some fucking!" That means be present, communicate with your partner, and take an active role in your pleasure–girl switch postions, move your hips, and throw that ass back!

Above all things, if it feels good you're doing it right! So keep going. (wink)

Until Next Time,

The Vagina Liberator

FAQs: Understanding Orgasms – Pleasure, Release, and How to Reach Yours

Q. What is an orgasm?

A. An orgasm is the release of sexual tension. It can involve moaning, uterine contractions, vaginal spasms, tears, laughter, or even squirting.

Q. How long do women’s orgasms last?

A. They can last anywhere from 15 to 50 seconds, and multiple orgasms in one encounter are possible.

Q. Why do some women struggle to orgasm?

A. Pressure, performance anxiety, or misunderstanding of the body’s responses (like squirting) can make orgasms elusive. Not all women squirt, and that’s normal.

Q. What is squirting?

A. Squirting comes from the Skene’s glands near the urethra. It lubricates the vagina during arousal, and fluid release can be triggered by pressure or stimulation.

Q. How can I reach orgasm more easily?

A.

• Engage in foreplay to build arousal and lubrication

• Relax and focus on the moment

• Stay hydrated to support blood flow and lubrication

• Embrace all types of orgasms, including clitoral stimulation

• Use clitoral toys to explore pressure and stimulation

  
  

Q. What’s the bottom line?

A. Pleasure is the goal, not performance. Every body experiences orgasm differently, so focus on what feels good and be present in the experience.