Hot Spots & Slow Starts: Why Foreplay and Erogenous Zones Matter

By: Jay Dee, MPH

Hey, pleasure seekers—let’s talk about two things that can dramatically improve your sex life: erogenous zones and foreplay.

What Are Erogenous Zones?

Erogenous zones, affectionately known as “hot spots,” are parts of your body that react to touch, pressure, temperature, vibration, or other stimulation. When these areas are activated, they can increase body temperature, elevate arousal, cause swelling of the glands (a good thing!), and heighten sexual tension.

These zones include the scalp, lips, ears, neck, breasts or chest, genitals, inner thighs, feet, wrists—and that’s just the highlight reel. Everyone's hot spots vary, which means part of sexual self-care is exploring your own map of pleasure.

Fun fact: According to Medical News Today, stimulating erogenous zones can lead to increased blood flow, heightened nerve activity, and ultimately a more satisfying sexual experience.

What Is Foreplay?

Foreplay is everything that happens before penetration (if penetration is even on the menu). It’s the kissing, touching, licking, rubbing, grinding, dirty talking, eye contact, and everything in between. It builds intimacy, trust, and most importantly—anticipation.

And let’s keep it a bean: the tease is just as important as the main event.

Whether you're cuddled up with your partner, going rounds with your sneaky link, or flying solo, foreplay is the key to turning meh sex into mind-blowing sex.

Why It Matters

Listen. Nobody wants a “wham, bam, thank you ma’am” experience—unless that’s what they signed up for. Most of us want to feel seen, touched, teased, loved on, and worshiped. And that’s exactly what exploring erogenous zones during foreplay can offer.

One of the most overlooked hot spots for women? The clitoris. Let me put you on real quick.

The clitoris only exists for pleasure. That’s it. That’s her job. She’s got over 8,000 nerve endings—more than any other body part—and stretches roughly 15 cm internally (yep, she’s longer than you thought!). She wraps around the vulva like a pair of pleasure-loving arms, but most folks only focus on the tip or the hood. Tragic.

Pro tip: Stimulate the clitoris during foreplay—not just the hood, but the entire vulva. Use lube, fingers, a bullet vibrator, or even warm breath. Gently massage the labia. Build up to it. Let her swell, warm, and bloom.

When stimulated correctly, the Skene’s and Bartholin’s glands will produce more lubrication, making penetration smoother and orgasms more intense. Sexual tension builds—and news flash—orgasms are just the release of sexual tension. So the greater the build, the greater the boom.

How to Explore Your Hot Spots

Start solo. Masturbation is your cheat code to discovering what makes your body hum. Not sure where to begin?

Click here to download “The Desire Guide” worksheet and try applying different forms of stimulation (pressure, vibration, soft touches) to different parts of your body. Keep a log. Be curious. Don’t rush. This info will not only serve you—but your partner(s) too.

The Bottom Line

Foreplay and erogenous zones are not optional—they're essential. And yes, they matter with every partner, whether you’ve been married for years or just linked up after midnight. Sex should be safe, consensual, and pleasurable from beginning to end.

Don’t skip the good stuff. Explore. Tease. Discover. Engage.

Your pleasure is your birthright.

Until Next Time,

The Vagina Liberator