Church Girl

By: Jay Dee, MPH

Christian women fall victim to horrible relationships due to their strong desire to have sex!

Before I begin, of course not all, some….a lot! Are we on the same page now? Perfect!

As a Christian woman myself, I believe premarital sex is indeed a sin. That’s not a matter of opinion, that is a fact per the bible (Exodus 22:16-17, Deuteronomy 22:13-21, 1 Corinthians 6:9-20). So many women feel convicted when they are having sex outside of the covenant of God!

Dating becomes increasingly difficult due to the fact there’s a strong desire to become married, to have sex! Personally, I do not believe this is acknowledged let alone stated. In hindsight, most women want to be married. That itself is pressure! Over the years, I have seen women take on the journey of celibacy. During this time, they meet a man, within 6 months to a year, they are married and fucking, then their life is fucked!

Discovering your partner is the complete opposite of who you met happens all the time. But I feel as though Christian women encounter this more. Not to be facetious but sis, did you pray about the relationship? Did you really take it to God? Did you ask God directly if this was your person? Did you learn this man? Or were you simply impressed by his church attendance and the number of scriptures he had memorized? Hell, I googled the scriptures in the opening of this article!

Christian Woman, Slow Down: Discernment Before the "I Do"

Sex is a big deal. And it’s perfectly okay to admit that—as a person, a woman, and a Christian woman. You don’t have to shrink away from your sexual desires or pretend they don’t exist. If you want to practice abstinence or celibacy (and yes, those are two different things), by all means, do it. But don’t forget: it’s still valid to desire bomb sex. Two things can be true at the same time.

What’s not wise, however, is using abstinence or celibacy as a performance or a shortcut to marriage. Don’t pretend sex isn’t a big deal, meet someone, and then rush into a covenant just to finally scratch an itch or claim a man as “my husband.” From what I’ve seen—and maybe what you’ve experienced—both the sex and the title tend to deliver short-term satisfaction when rushed.

Now, Christian woman, I’m going to hold your hand through this next part.

You’re an easy target. Men are not as clueless as we often think. Many have figured out that if they want to impress a Christian woman—or a “church girl”—they don’t have to show true spiritual maturity. All they have to do is show up at church with you, say they’re “saved,” participate in a few church events, maybe pray before meals or before bed. And just like that, it can look like he’s a Godly man.

But none of that proves he’s walking with Christ. None of that proves you are his God-ordained wife.

When we’re emotionally vulnerable, it’s easy to make 2 + 2 equal 7. It looks good. It feels right. But it’s not adding up.

The enemy doesn't always show up in chaos—he often shows up in what feels familiar and comforting. Snakes belong in gardens, remember? So while you're growing in your walk with Christ, embracing abstinence or celibacy, or preparing yourself to be a wife, stay spiritually alert. Stay prayerful. Stay discerning. Keep your standards high, your boundaries firm, and your body sacred.

Don’t just prepare to be a wife. Prepare to hear God's voice and actually follow it. Learn these men. Study their character. Accept what’s being revealed to you. And when the Holy Spirit whispers, “This ain’t it”? Believe it.

Not every man who enters your life is your assignment. It is not your job to “love him to Christ.”

If he is an assignment, release him romantically. Let him observe your faith from a distance—how you carry yourself, how you live your life, how you love others and honor God. That reflection will do far more for his soul than forcing a relationship ever could. If he is meant for you, he will return as a man transformed—not just a man who wants you, but a man who is led by God.

That’s how you handle an assignment.That’s how you obey God.That’s how you date with clarity—and purpose.

So slow down. You don’t have to rush the journey just to reach the altar. Walk with God first—and let the right one walk up to you.

Until Next Time,

The Vagina Liberator