Celibacy is A Mirror

By: Jay Dee, MPH

Celibacy is not a shortcut to getting what you want. It’s not a magical formula for attracting a partner, manifesting a ring, or making life fall into place. Instead, celibacy is a powerful tool for self-exploration—an intentional pause that invites you to meet yourself more deeply.

Choosing celibacy can help minimize emotional noise, sharpen your focus, and strengthen your sense of self. It gives you space to distinguish between lust and love, physical attraction and emotional alignment. With time, it can also enhance your ability to set—and honor—boundaries in all your relationships.

But like any sacred journey, celibacy takes preparation. Before you start, here are three important questions to reflect on:

1. What’s your purpose?Not a vague idea—but a clear and intentional why. Are you healing? Seeking clarity? Strengthening spiritual connection? Your reason will anchor you when temptations or doubts arise.

2. What are your expectations?Many women are taught that celibacy is transactional—that by abstaining from sex, they’ll be “rewarded” with love or marriage. But celibacy is not a bargaining chip. If it’s rooted in manipulation (of yourself or others), it becomes a hollow performance rather than a meaningful practice.

3. How will you manage desire?Celibacy doesn’t erase sexual urges—it often magnifies them. If you’re choosing to abstain from all forms of sexual pleasure, it’s wise to explore calming techniques, mindfulness tools, or even movement-based practices that support emotional and physical regulation. Otherwise, you're more likely to revert to old patterns.

For many, this season of celibacy is actually the perfect time to begin or deepen a self-pleasure practice. Contrary to outdated beliefs, masturbation can be a healing, clarifying, and empowering ritual. It’s where you learn what brings your body joy—on your own terms.

No pressure to perform, no distractions—just you, your body, and your truth.

I know it can be hard, especially if you grew up hearing that self-pleasure is “sinful” or “shameful.” But those narratives aren’t yours to carry anymore. You don’t have to unlearn them alone.

If you're ready to prioritize your needs and deepen your connection to yourself, Table For One is here to guide you.Click here to start your journey.

Until Next Time,

The Vagina Liberator