I Know You're Tired Of The Usual

By: Jay Dee, MPH

There often comes a point in relationships when sex starts to feel... predictable. Maybe even a little uninspired. If that sounds familiar, you're not alone. It's completely normal for sexual rhythms to shift over time. Stress, hormonal changes, body image struggles, and emotional disconnect can all impact desire—but that doesn't mean the passion is gone for good. It just means it might be time to pivot and rediscover what turns you on, both mentally and physically.

Reviving your sex life doesn’t require a complete overhaul—sometimes, a few intentional tweaks can reignite the flame. Before we jump into the list, here's a playful bonus tip: try incorporating ice or peppermint during oral sex. (Be careful—peppermints can be a choking hazard, so use discretion and safety first!)

Here are 3 simple, exciting ways to switch things up:

1. Introduce a Toy: No need to feel intimidated. Start with something small and approachable, like a clitoral bullet vibrator. Before diving in, ask your partner how they feel about incorporating a toy. If it’s new territory for you both, ease into it by demonstrating the vibration on their arm to get comfortable with the sensation. Once there’s mutual consent, explore their body with the toy—especially on areas they already find pleasurable. Add lube for extra glide, and consider using it during oral sex for a deeper, layered experience.

2. Record Your Sexcapades: If you’re in a relationship built on trust and mutual respect, why not star in your own erotic film? Choose a favorite scene from your go-to adult film and recreate it. You'll need consent (always), good lighting, a charged phone or camera, and a tripod. The goal isn’t perfection—it’s play. Laugh, experiment, direct each other. Watching yourselves later can be both sexy and affirming.

3. Change the Scenery: Your bedroom isn’t the only place that deserves action. Move things to the kitchen, the bathroom, or even the living room. If privacy is a concern, coordinate time when you’ll have the space to yourselves. Scheduled sex doesn't have to feel forced—it can build anticipation and turn into something you genuinely look forward to. Take it a step further and book a hotel or a cozy Airbnb in your city for a quick escape. There’s something thrilling about being intimate in a new space... especially someone else’s tub.

Small shifts in energy, space, and intention can breathe new life into your connection.

Remember: sex is a journey, not a destination—so explore it with curiosity, creativity, and a willingness to evolve.

Until Next Time,

The Vagina Liberator