Mother

By: Jay Dee, MPH

Before she became a mother, she was a woman. Once a little girl who had dreams and aspirations.

As we are getting older, growing through life, we should start to look back to gain a better understanding of our mothers.

Every year, I'm learning my mom on a deeper level. I finally got the piece of her puzzle that changed the trajectory of her life forever. I now look at her with a different set of eyes. My mom was born in the 50s, grew up in the 60s, 70s, and 80s during the civil rights movement, wars, war on drugs, etc. Her mother was unstable! The type of woman who just pick up and leave whenever she wanted to or felt like she needed to. My mom survived a lot!

My mom's story isn't for me to tell but it's something I hold on to. The fact that my mom was already a mother at my age is crazy to me! I can't imagine being responsible for a child right now. When I was in my twenties, going through heart break, between tears I would look at my mom and ask her how did she heal while raising children!?

I can't imagine showing up for a child while I am going through depression or extreme sadness. Grieving a life or timeline I thought I would have while preparing dinner for a child. Navigating career changes, preparing for the future, evolving, losing relationships, experience the loss of parents, and prominent family members, annnddd being forced out of bed to care for a child....no!

Looking back, I was about 4 years old when my Nana died. How in the hell did my mom continue on life when her mom died. I vaguely remember my Nana, I certainly don't remember my mom grieving but I know she did and still grieves today.

I understand the attitude, distance, not always being fully present, barely being home due to wok. I get it!

We're grown now. Just like our childhood/upbringing has shaped who we are today, so has our mothers'. Talk to your mom more about their life before motherhood.

Becoming a mom doesn't make a person an immediate expert to life. Becoming a mom is another added responsibility while trying to navigate life without a manual. They were destined to fuck up!

Cheers to all the moms around the world who wakes up every day doing the best they can, with what (knowledge, resources, support etc.) they have and lack.

Until Next Time,

The Vagina Liberator