Let’s Talk About Erectile Dysfunction (ED) — With Honesty

By: Jay Dee, MPH

Sometimes your penis just… doesn’t cooperate. Maybe it shows up for the party but leaves too soon, or maybe it doesn’t show up at all. That’s Erectile Dysfunction (ED). And while it can feel embarrassing, let’s get one thing straight: you are not alone.

ED affects about 322 million men worldwide. By age 40, roughly 40% of men experience it, and by 70, that number climbs to 70%. Translation? If this is happening to you, you’ve got plenty of company — even if nobody’s talking about it out loud.

Why Does ED Happen?

Your penis is kind of like a diva — it needs everything lined up perfectly: blood flow, hormones, brain signals, mood, and attraction. If even one of those things is off, performance can falter.

Physical causes can include:

• Diabetes

• Being overweight

• Overuse of alcohol, tobacco (yes, even hookah), or illicit drugs

• Heart disease

• Certain medications for chronic conditions

• High blood pressure (hypertension)

• Renal dialysis

• Injuries

  
  

Mental health causes are just as real:

• Stress

• Anxiety

• Depression

  
  

Remember, your brain and your body work together when it comes to arousal — if one is overloaded, the other feels it.

What You Can Do (Right Now)

Luckily, there are things you can start doing today to support your sexual health.

• Fuel up smart. Eat balanced meals and ditch the junky processed stuff.

• Move your body. Exercise improves blood flow and reduces stress.

• Cut back on substances. Less alcohol, fewer cigarettes, and minimal “extras” means better function.

• Nurture your mind. Therapy, journaling, meditation, or just getting outside in the sun can ease stress and boost mood.

• Do things you enjoy. Hobbies and joy spill over into intimacy.

  
  

Think of it as a whole-life tune-up. A healthier you = a happier penis.

The Ejaculation Factor

ED isn’t just about erections — it also covers ejaculation issues. On average, most men last 5–7 minutes during penetration.

• Less than 2 minutes? That’s premature ejaculation. (Cue Missy Elliott: “One Minute Man”).

• Taking much longer than you want? That could be delayed ejaculation. Sometimes it’s medical, sometimes it’s mental, and sometimes it’s just that your brain is multitasking (“Did I lock the door?”). Her vagina is drier than preferred, loss of attraction, etc. but, if this is happening consistently, it may be you broksi!

  
  

Bottom line: it’s not really about the stopwatch — it’s about whether you and your partner are satisfied.

Why ED Affects Relationships

Sex is more than physical. It’s emotional, intimate, and bonding. When ED creeps in, it can ripple into the relationship — causing frustration, distance, or even insecurity on both sides.

But here’s the flip side: open communication, patience, and seeking help together can actually strengthen the relationship. Because nothing is sexier than a partner who’s willing to face challenges with you.

Long story short: ED is common. It’s treatable. And it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Whether it’s through lifestyle changes, therapy, or medical help, you’ve got options. Start with small steps — eat better, move more, talk openly — and know that a satisfying sex life is absolutely within reach.

p.s. this is a great time to start using toys! More specifically a "c-ring" aka the cock ring to help sustain an erection. This type of bedroom accessory helps restrict blood flow which in turn helps sustain erections. Toys are your friends, stop making them enemies!

Until Next Time,

The Vagina Liberator