The Final Act of Sex: Aftercare

thevaginaliberator
Jul 27
3 min read

Updated: Aug 9

Aftercare: The Final Act of Sex

Aftercare is the final act of sex—and an essential one at that. Practicing aftercare means you and your partner take the time to care for each other after intimacy. This can look different for everyone, but before we get into what it looks like, let’s talk about why aftercare is crucial for completing the sexual experience.

Why Aftercare Matters

Everyone’s values around sex are different. Sometimes, the act of sex—or the person you're having it with—can go against your internal beliefs or morals. For instance, a woman may have been taught to wait until marriage. If she chooses to have sex before that, even if it felt good in the moment, she may experience guilt or shame afterwards. Someone else may strongly value using protection, and if sex occurs without a condom, they might feel anxious or regretful after the fact.

Maybe it’s a one-night stand. Maybe a threesome. Or maybe you had sex with someone your friends or family would disapprove of. Let’s be honest—while many people say they don’t care what others think, most of us hold on to at least some concern for how we’re perceived by the people we love. And what if you hooked up with someone who’s in a committed relationship? Or circled back to an ex you swore you’d never talk to again? Whew. Been there. It happens. It’s life.

But here’s what’s going on beneath the surface.

The Hormonal High… and the Crash

When you have sex, your body releases a cocktail of feel-good hormones—oxytocin, endorphins, serotonin, and dopamine. These surge even more during orgasm, giving you that euphoric, “floating-on-air” feeling. But as the old saying goes: what goes up must come down.

As your body returns to its baseline, so do those hormone levels. And sometimes, in that hormonal comedown, something shifts. A wave of realization or discomfort hits:“WTF did I just do?”“Why am I here… with them?”

Where there was sexual bliss, now there’s confusion. Some call this post-nut clarity. But the technical term? Orgasmic crash.

This crash is especially common when:

You're with a new partner
You’re exploring a new sexual experience
You’ve done something that goes against your personal values

The crash can occur anywhere from 24 to 72 hours after sex. And if it’s not addressed, it can spiral into emotions like remorse, regret, shame, confusion, embarrassment—even self-loathing or suicidal thoughts.

How to Prevent the Orgasmic Crash: Aftercare

An orgasmic crash doesn’t have to happen. Aftercare is your tool to help prevent it. It’s about doing things after sex that make everyone involved feel good, safe, and grounded.

Here are some simple but powerful aftercare practices:

Check in with each other: “Are you okay?” “How are you feeling?”
Clean each other up: Wipe down your partner’s genitals with a warm cloth—tenderness matters.
Cuddle: Skin-to-skin contact releases oxytocin and helps maintain intimacy.
Share food or sweets: A small treat or snack can be comforting.
Take a warm shower together: Use your favorite body wash—reconnect through the senses.
Give a massage: Rub lotion into each other’s skin.
Watch something lighthearted: A comedy can lift the mood and help transition emotionally.

Aftercare isn’t about being romantic—it’s about being human. It's care. It's empathy. It's basic emotional hygiene.

Let’s End This Misconception

Here’s the thing: Aftercare is not reserved for exclusive relationships. It’s not just for people in love or long-term partnerships. Aftercare is simply the proper conclusion to sex—a way to honor the experience and protect each other’s mental and emotional well-being.

Think about your past sexual encounters. Ever noticed that a day or two later someone seemed off? Distant? Overly emotional? You might’ve thought, “They’re doing too much.” But chances are, they crashed. Taking just 5 to 10 minutes to cuddle or check in could’ve made all the difference.

So here’s some food for thought: If you can’t consider giving someone aftercare—or if someone can’t consider giving you aftercare—maybe sex isn’t the right move for y’all right now.

Until Next Time,

The Vagina Liberator