Anal Sex: Relax That Ass

By: Jay Dee, MPH

Anal sex can absolutely be enjoyed by heterosexual couples. It’s often described as a mix of pain and pleasure—a complex, yet rewarding experience when approached with care. If you’re curious but nervous, I created a beginner-friendly Anal Sex Toolkit to help guide you through the journey with confidence and comfort:

1. Relax that ass: Start with a partner you trust—someone who genuinely cares about your comfort and well-being. Choose a cozy position and remember to breathe deeply. The more relaxed you are, the smoother the experience will be.

2. Lube is not optional—it's essential: While any lube is better than none, silicone-based lubricants tend to last longer and provide more glide, making them ideal for anal play. If you're using condoms, stick with water-based lube to avoid degradation. Since the anus doesn’t self-lubricate, use as much lube as you need—don’t be shy, even if it’s the whole tube. Comfort and ease are the goals here.

3. Patience is your best friend: Take your time. Entry may be slow, and that’s completely okay. The receiver should be fully in control, guiding the pace and depth. Partners—move gently, listen carefully, and go slow. And yes, keep breathing—it helps relax the muscles and ground your body. The girlies who really get down strongly recommend the receiver to be on top to maintain control! IDK....that's what the streets say. Give it a try, why not!?

4. Prepare to prevent surprises During anal sex, the receiver may feel a sudden urge like they’re about to have a bowel movement. This is normal—it’s the sensation of pressure against the rectal wall. To ease your mind and prevent “painting” (accidentally defecating during the act), consider using a rectal cleanse, like a Fleet enema, before play. While it’s not mandatory, it can help you relax and focus on pleasure instead of worry.

5. Aftercare is non-negotiable: If anal sex is new to you, it can bring on heightened physical and emotional intensity. A powerful orgasm might be followed by an emotional dip, known as a "crash." To avoid feelings of disconnect or regret, take time to care for each other. Share something sweet, cuddle, wrap yourselves in soft fabric, and check in emotionally. Even a few minutes of affection can make all the difference.

Exploring new sexual experiences should be rooted in trust, pleasure, and communication. With the right mindset, tools, and care, anal sex can be deeply intimate and satisfying and—dare we say—worth the hype.

Until Next Time,

The Vagina Liberator