We Be Tussling...

By: Jay Dee, MPH

I saw a meme that read, "If a nigga ain't right about nun else, he know when somebody ain't your friend!"

 

Ok let's talk about it....

 

Domestic Violence has been watered down to "toxic" amongst millennials. That's not cool!

 

Intimate partner relationships that involves, physical altercations (even if you two are fighting, hitting, pushing each other), damaging each other's property, verbal abuse (talking down to each other, hitting below the belt, name calling, aggressive behavior etc.), constant heart break, betrayal, gas lighting (emotional abuse)...all of this is domestic violence!

 

I get it, domestic violence is too much of an ugly phrase! I mean, domestic violence is when a woman is bald up in the corner getting her ass whooped, in fear of her life! "I fight back so that aint me."

 

Let me hold your hand when I say this...it is domestic violence. But it doesn't have to be!

 

Humiliation and isolation is also a form of domestic violence. So your partner knows when someone isn't your real friend....and you believe that?

 

Put it on a scale...who have betrayed and hurt you the most? Your partner or friend? Oh let me guess, when you confided into that friend, they told you to leave, and once you and your partner made up, you disclose the conversation between you and your friend?

DUHHH they're not going to like your friend. Of course they're going to tell you "that's not your real friend!" 

 

Why would your partner want you in a relationship where someone is encouraging you to want better?

 

Isolation isn't always, "Don't go out with that person!" It's also, every time you're about to go out, suddenly your partner finds something to argue about. Your mood has changed and you no longer want to go! This is how isolation starts. Eventually, you'll stop hanging out with that group/person or all together!

You won't stop because you recognize the isolation but because you don't want your partner to "trip!"

 

Recognizing you're in a violent or tumultrous relationship is hard. You love this person!

 

But typically, violence in a relationship doesn't get better. It gets worst!

 

The woman who was killed by her partner thought things would get better at one point too!

 

Every year there are 16,800 homicides due to violent relationships. Injuries from these relationships cost $2.2 million annually as well.

 

If you or someone you know is in this relationship, recognize what is happening! Make a plan. Seek counseling!

You got this!

Until Next Time,

The Vagina Liberator