Sex Under the Influence: Can You Consent While Drunk or High?
Sex Under the Influence: When Does It Cross the Line?
Many people rave about having sex under the influence. Some prefer “high” sex, while others prefer “drunk” sex.
And yes, people do it.
But when drugs and alcohol enter the bedroom, consent has to enter the conversation, too.
Your brain is constantly transmitting and processing information. Alcohol and drugs (marijuana) can interfere with how your brain functions, affecting reaction time, judgment, decision-making, memory and your ability to understand what is happening around you.
They can also affect behavior. Someone who is intoxicated may become emotional, aggressive, impulsive, confused or unpredictable. They may experience euphoria, impaired judgment, memory loss or even black out.
And when sex is involved, those changes matter.
Drugs as an Icebreaker
A-lot of people use drugs as an icebreaker to minimize nervousness and increase comfortability.
Maybe you are nervous about meeting someone. Maybe a few drinks make you feel less awkward. Maybe getting high makes you feel more comfortable being sexual.
But substances should never be used to create, pressure or manufacture consent.
Hooking up is acceptable as long as everyone involved can freely and knowingly consent. Consuming drugs or alcohol is not a substitute for consent.
Can You Consent While Drunk or High?
This is where things get complicated.
Being drunk or high does not automatically make consensual sex illegal. The legal issue is whether someone has the capacity to give meaningful, voluntary consent.
There is a major difference between:
“I had a drink and wanted to have sex.”
and
“I was so intoxicated that I couldn't understand what was happening or communicate my decision.”
Someone who is unconscious, severely intoxicated, confused or otherwise incapacitated may not be capable of consenting to sexual activity.
Remember: If they can't say "no" they can't say "yes"!
Consent is not a one-time permission slip.
Someone can change their mind. They can agree to one sexual act and refuse another. They can become too impaired to make decisions.
This applies to oral, vaginal and anal sex.
What Happens If Someone Pursues Sexual Assault Charges?
If someone believes they were sexually assaulted, they can report it to law enforcement. An investigation may involve texts, messages, witnesses, surveillance footage, medical records and statements from the people involved.
Depending on the circumstances and the law where you live, an accusation can lead to an investigation, arrest, criminal charges, prosecution, fines, incarceration and potentially a permanent criminal record.
And being intoxicated yourself does not automatically protect you from legal consequences.
At the same time, two people drinking or using drugs does not automatically mean a sexual assault occurred. The circumstances and each person's ability to consent matter.
Find Another Icebreaker
If nervousness is why you are reaching for alcohol or drugs before a hookup, try something else:
Play a card game.
Watch a movie.
Grab something to eat.
Listen to music.
Actually talk to each other.
The goal shouldn't be to make someone intoxicated enough to feel comfortable having sex.
The goal should be for everyone to actually feel comfortable having sex.
Casual sex is fine. Hookups are fine. Drinking and getting high are personal choices.
But when sex is involved, consent is non-negotiable.
If someone is too impaired to understand what is happening, make decisions or communicate what they want, stop the sex.
That hookup can wait.
Until Next Time,
The Vagina Liberator
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