Sex On The First Date

By: Jay Dee, MPH

Having sex on the first night is a grown-ass activity. PERREIT.

Plenty of women are down for casual sex, but many hold back out of fear—fear of rejection, or fear of being judged by their male counterparts. Society has conditioned men to believe women only have sex for emotional support—that love or some form of attachment must exist before a woman "lets him in." Let me be clear: that’s complete bullshit.

Sometimes, a woman wants to have sex at "hello"—just like a man. And that’s absolutely okay.

The timing of when a woman chooses to have sex does not determine her character. If anything, it shows she’s confident, self-aware, and knows what she wants. So why is a woman’s morality always under a microscope when it comes to her sex life, but a man’s isn’t? If men are known (and even celebrated) for casual sex, are we supposed to believe they lack self-worth? That logic is ridiculous.

A woman’s character should be judged by her values:

Her integrity.

The way she handles conflict.

Her emotional intelligence—or lack thereof.

Her honesty, ethics, authenticity, open-mindedness—the list goes on.

Sex on the first date doesn’t reflect any of that. Like I said, it’s a grown-ass activity. Many healthy, lasting relationships started with a first-night hookup.

So, sis—don’t shrink your desires out of fear. If you feel a vibe and want to initiate sex on night one, read the room and go for it.

That said, not every man is ready for a sexually liberated woman. Therefore, there is a possibility the "man" will be done with you after sex on the first date! Imagine that—a man thinking less of you for sleeping with him—on the first day (LOL).

Nonetheless, to figure out his mindset without putting yourself out there too directly, slide it into a casual convo:"This girl on TikTok told a story about a guy blocking her after they hooked up on the first night—crazy, right? What would you do in that situation?"

Listen carefully. Make sure his response matches what you already know about him. Then boom—make your move.

And if that move is sex, remember the Big Two: Consent and Condoms.

Until Next Time,

The Vagina Liberator