Freakin' Me: Sexual Fantasies!

By: Jay Dee, MPH

Let’s Talk About Sexual Fantasies

Sexual fantasies don’t have to be wild or extreme. Sometimes, they’re as simple as imagining sex in a five-star hotel or a steamy bubble bath. Fantasies are just that—sexual imagination. They stir curiosity, spark arousal, and help us explore our desires in ways that feel exciting, safe, and personal.

Your bedroom is yours, and people will only know what you tell them—so don’t tell.

If you choose to act on a fantasy, do it with someone you trust. Someone you feel emotionally and physically safe with.

Fantasies should always be performed with informed consent. You can do whatever you like, with whomever you choose, as long as you have INFORMED CONSENT!

If you choose to perform your sexual fantasy, once the act is done, prioritize your aftercare. Whether that’s cuddling, journaling, a warm bath, or a solo moment of reflection—it’s important to take care of yourself after the excitement fades.

But it’s also important to note that not all fantasies are unorthodox. They don’t have to be performed either. Some are private mental escapes, used for arousal or masturbation. Others are beautifully elaborate, like… being double-penetrated by two lovers while tied and gagged with a view of the sunset on a secluded beach. (I read a lot of romance novels, okay? LOL.)

No matter the flavor, fantasies are valid.

So… where do they come from?

Common Triggers of Sexual Fantasies:

1. A lack of something—affection, spontaneity, thrill, or control.

2. Erotic performances—TV shows, movies, spicy books, or music.

3. A desire to escape reality—curiosity about experiences you’ve never had (or maybe never will).

   
   

This list could go on, but you get the point. Your fantasies are yours—and they’re okay. They don’t define your character. They don’t change your sexual orientation. They don’t make you dirty, weird, or wrong.

So please, don’t let judgment or shame steal your pleasure. Because, chileee… you’d be shocked at what people really be doing behind closed doors.

A Few Reminders If You Choose to Explore Your Fantasies:

• Get informed consent.

• Protect your physical and emotional safety.

• Have a plan for aftercare.

• And most importantly—avoid doing anything with fuck boys. They don’t deserve that access!

  
  

Now, turn to your Table For One workbook and journal your fantasies. Be clear about what excites you and what you’re open to exploring.

This is your world, baby.

Live it. Sensually. Safely. Authentically.

[Click here to grab your copy of Table For One]

Until Next Time,

The Vagina Liberator