The Game Gon Test You, Don't Fold. -Nipsey Hussle

By: Jay Dee, MPH

What a Fucking Year (2023)!

Almost every person in my life endured a storm. God literally carried me through this year! There’s no way I made it here without God’s grace, guidance, and mercy. Earlier this year, I was fired from my job! Since working at the age of 14, I’ve never experienced this type of hardship. I was lost, I was confused, I questioned my life, purpose, everything was a blur. I had a plan! It was solid too. I was at my peak! But then life knocked me down to my valley. And boy was it low! I spent some of this year feeling defeated and fighting depression. The job search is beyond brutal. It’s actually insane! Being off the job market for many years, I was unaware of how hard it is to find one’s definition of a “good job.”

To be transparent, I haven’t worked all year since I was fired. Part of my self-pleasure includes working out throughout the week and listening to sermons from Pastor Mike Jr., Dr. Dharius Daniels, and Pastor Snell. These 3 gentlemen played a significant role of changing my mindset. As I’m writing this, Dr. Dharuis Daniels is playing in my background right now. The recurring theme these sermons discussed were preparedness and adversities! For years I always knew success was not linear. I can’t lie, innately I thought I was exempt. Inwardly I had the attitude, “that won’t be my story. I’m ascending with no detours or declines.” Life showed me and God carried me and saved me.

One day, my little sister called me, “You still not working? OMG! I would’ve been dead by now. You really did what you were supposed to do.” This statement snapped me out of that day’s depression. Earlier that day, I listened to one of the sermons and pastor Daniels said, “You are more prepared for your storms than you think!” In that moment I understood my depression about unemployment and lacking was an insult to God because all along, I was prepared. My mom told me, “I know you’re behind on your bills, I’m going to help you.” I looked at her confused and said, “I’m not behind on my bills.” I was able to sustain most of my life because God blessed me with wisdom and preparation.

This year I lost. I lost my “good job,” I lost my cousin Lisa, I lost focus on my brand, I lost a few relationships but through it all I genuinely grew closer to God. I learned how to REALLY trust God. I learned that worry and faith is an oxymoron; I learned how to choose faith. Emotionally I was down, but feeding my soul and spirit and being transparent and vulnerable kept me in joy overall. The hard truth, life is all about peaks and valleys! Don’t let the valley break you! Such is life…

Until Next Time,

The Vagina Liberator