Social Media Influence on Expectations in Exclusive and Sexual Relationships

By: Jay Dee, MPH

Let’s talk real for a minute.

Social media has given us front-row access to the lives of celebrities and high-earning influencers. And with that access has come delusion. Watching couples exchange luxury gifts on a first date or jet off to Dubai for the weekend has people with average incomes believing their dating life should mirror that.

But here’s the truth: the average Black American earns about $50,000 a year (U.S. Census Bureau, fact). Rent averages $1,500/month, utilities can reach $200, and let’s not even talk about groceries—eggs feel like $1,000 a carton. So sis, if a man is living alone and earning $50K before taxes, stop expecting him to regularly drop $1,500 on a gift or fly you overseas on a whim. That’s not love—it’s lifestyle inflation with a sprinkle of delusion.

This doesn't mean luxury is off the table, but let’s be realistic. If you’re over 30 and haven’t landed the high-earning, single, child-free man with money to blow by now—it’s not impossible, but it’s rare. If you didn’t catch that fish in your 20s, it might be time to release the net.

Even in just sex—expectations have shifted. Some women won’t even entertain a man without compensation. And listen, I’m The Vagina Liberator—I support sex work. I support women getting more than a wet ass and $40. But compensation doesn’t always mean cash. If he’s not investing time, energy, or intimacy but wants access to your body, then yes, get something out of it. Your time is valuable.

And if he does like you? He should be courting you. Learning you. Spending time with you. And yes, gifting you—not just on your birthday.

But don’t let Instagram fool you. Most men do not have disposable income to be your trick. Don’t expect fashion week treatment for 20 minutes of sex. Shoot for the stars—but keep one foot on Earth.

Whether it’s an exclusive relationship or a situationship, check your expectations. Don’t let social media sabotage your reality. A lot of real-life couples split bills 50/50, and most people aren’t spending like influencers. And half are scammers!

So stay grounded. Stay sexy. And know your worth—just don’t measure it by someone else’s highlight reel.

Until Next Time,

The Vagina Liberator