I Hate My Partner After Sex

By: Jay Dee, MPH

If you’ve ever felt negative thoughts or emotions about yourself or your partner after masturbation or sex, you’re not alone—and you need aftercare.

During sex, your body floods with feel-good hormones like dopamine and oxytocin. When orgasm happens, prolactin is also released. This powerful hormonal cocktail can sometimes lead to intense emotional shifts—commonly called an orgasmic crash—which may show up anywhere from 24 to 72 hours after intimacy. This is especially common when you introduce something new sexually or have sex with a new partner.

Beyond the biology, there’s often a deeper layer of emotional and moral conflict. Maybe you were raised to believe masturbation is a “sin,” or that sex should only happen within marriage. In those cases, guilt or resentment can surface after sexual encounters—particularly casual ones or “sneaky links.” These feelings are real and valid.

This is exactly why aftercare matters. Aftercare means intentionally caring for yourself and your partner emotionally and physically after sex. It’s about checking in, offering reassurance, and nurturing connection—whether it’s with a longtime lover or a new fling.

Don’t buy into the idea that sneaky links should always part ways immediately. Sometimes, you both need those moments of softness and care after the heat of the moment. Try wrapping yourselves in soft fabric, cuddling quietly, or simply holding space for each other to process the experience. And remember, aftercare can be solo too—take time to soothe yourself, reflect, and honor your feelings.

Taking care of your emotional well-being after sex is just as important as the physical pleasure. It’s part of honoring yourself and your intimate experiences fully.

A few Aftercare Techniques:

1. Eat or drink something sweet

2. Wrap yourself or cuddle in soft fabric

3. Take a soothing bath

4. Journal

5. Watch your favorite comedy

   
   

   Explore Table For One Sex Journal for more techniques on aftercare!

Until Next Time,

The Vagina Liberator