He Said The Pussy Is Trash!

By: Jay Dee, MPH

Sis, We Need to Talk… About Your Sex Game

Recently, I had a conversation with a dear friend about the woman he’s currently dating. The chemistry? Undeniable. He enjoys her company, sees real potential, and could even picture marrying her one day. But there’s one major problem…

According to him, “her pussy is trash.” And the worst part? He doesn’t have the heart to tell her.

I bring this to your attention because many women don’t realize there’s always room to grow and improve in the bedroom. Take a moment and ask your partner: “What can I do more or less of during sex?” You might be surprised by the answers.

Sex should be a two-way experience: pleasing and being pleased. That means stepping outside your ego and having open, honest conversations about your sexual life. Some challenges might require medical attention—but others can be enhanced with toys, lube, and intentional effort. These aren’t your enemies; they’re your allies.

Here’s how my friend unintentionally reacts to their lack of satisfaction:

• He doesn’t initiate sex

• He occasionally avoids sex altogether

• During sex, he mentally checks out

• He rarely ejaculates—so yes, he fakes it

  
  

I asked him, “What makes it feel like that?”

He reached for a cup of water in the console, swirled his finger inside, and said, “This is what it feels like.”

I said, “Lack of grip?” He nodded instantly.

He also added:

• It feels like he’s having sex with a corpse—there’s no movement, no energy

• She’s not as wet as he prefers

• Her moans and reactions seem performative—he’s barely doing anything, so he doubts their authenticity

  
  

Ladies, sex is a tango, and the tango doesn’t work if only one person is dancing. Participation matters. Lying there like a starfish? Not enough. Move your hips, switch positions, engage with your partner.

If grip is a concern, start practicing your kegels. Squeeze and hold those pelvic floor muscles as long as you can—then release and repeat. It’s one of the best ways to strengthen your vaginal muscles and increase sensation for both you and your partner.

And stop performing! Sex is about connection. Let your body respond naturally—don’t fake it. If your partner shows any signs like avoiding intimacy, lack of pleasure, or disconnection, it might be time for a good old-fashioned chat and chew. Talk over food, check in on the state of your sex life, and get curious. Explore each other’s erogenous zones. Complete the fantasy activity in your Table For One workbook if you need a guide!

Whatever you do, don’t ignore the opportunity to grow, improve, or simply enhance your sexual experience. A little effort goes a long way.

Your sex life deserves intention, not assumption.

Until Next Time,

The Vagina Liberator